Hello, hello!

Ok, so what happened?? I had no freaking internet....I did get it last week, but I had no time to update here...

I dunno even who visits me or anything O__o
Therefore I have an announcement....I'm gonna close the community I started, 'cause I came to realize its still not time for me to post stuff related to my books. most of all the "big" one. I haven't even started with the yaoi one....

It always happens....but its not my fault when work takes most of my time away >_>
So sorry if I got someone interested, I will post something, someday, I just dunno when
forgive me....

mh...for the rest...I'm obsessed with the visual band Merry T_T I love them...
but I don't wanna start talking about it 'cause I could go on forever XD

so once again, forgive me and expect something in the future....

bye!!!

Gomen, gomen.
Tomorrow got a bit longer, I don't know when I'm gonna post the first chapter of the fan fiction because I've come to another decision. I'm gonna open a second journal in which I'm gonna start posting my "lets hope they will get published some day" novels (XD)

I had this idea of writing a yaoi (or slash as you call it) novel, involving Japanese characters meaning two boys. The story would be divided in two time zones, one in the past (16th century) and one in the present. Its a story of destiny, I'll explain more in the new journal.

And another thing...I've decided to share this book I've been working on for the past two years, its very long, very complicated and it has a big and colorful background. A lot of characters and and an interesting (I hope) plot. Again I shall explain more later. Oh it talks about vampires. But not only them, there's wayyyyy more than just that, trust me, way more.

I dunno who's been here and read my work, but if you liked it, you're welcomed to visit the new journal and leave your comments and opinions, for I will need them.

I'll update the entry later, with the link

Still this journal will remain active and hopefully soon I will post chapter one of the Princess, princess fic

That's all. See ya!!

EDIT: here's the link http://community.livejournal.com/maze_flames/

Ohayou minna! ^^ Long time since I don't update. But since I was out of inspiration till now, and I decided this would be a fic only blog, it got longer. But these days I've been inspired, 'cause I've been watching Japanese yaoi movies +_+ One of them was the series of Princess, princess, I loved it!! And there were many couples that caught my attention, therefore I got inspired to write fics. I'll try to post as soon as possible, hoping I'll catch sometime to write...
you know I get distracted quite often.....>_>

Anyway...see ya with the first chapter, hopefully tomorrow
KISS!

Chapter five


Uruha was walking down Shibuya with his thoughts focused on only one thing. Reita. How could he think that he would hurt him? And he knew Ruki was doing his best to separate them. Maybe, they weren't made for eachother after all. But...he refused to believe that. Something must have brought them together. He felt so happy in his arms, it must have ment something, didn't it? He stopped in front of the store where Reita bought him the plushy. He almost started crying at seeing that window. All the memories of the past week coming back to his mind. New Year's Eve was on its way and it seemed he was gonna spend it alone. Why did this have to happen to him? He was perfectly happy without this whole thing. Or was he?
The idea of never seeing Reita again scared him. Not be able to talk to him, even about the most stupid thing, was a knife through his heart. He loved him and he should fight for him. Now that he wasn't there he might feel vulnerable and Ruki could easily have him. He was not gonna let it happen. The bass player belonged to him, just like he belonged to him. No-one was going to tare them apart, especially not Ruki, who clearly only wanted Reita just for the sake of it. He would probably be bored of him very quickly and Uruha couldn't permit for such a thing to happen. He was gonna save Reita from Ruki's claws and claim him for himself once and for all.

-I hoped you'd be here...-a voice said
-Reita!-
-Should I go?-
-.....no. In fact I need you to stay.-
-What?-
-I forgive you. -
-...you do?-
-Yes. I won't let anything come between us. I will get Ruki out of the way.-
-How are you gonna do that?-
-If he tries anything, I will beat the crap out of him.-
-That's your idea of civilized?-
-In a fight like this, there is no room for civilized.-
-Oh Uruha....you're the best.-
-........I love you Reita. I would never hurt you.-
-I know...and I'm sorry I doubted you. I promise...this is the last time...-
-Better for you. Or you'll ger your share of beating as well.-


~Only a lifetime for us, my love. But more than that we cannot ask~



Kai was in his appartament working on a new drum solo when his cell phone rang.
-Hello?-
-Ohayou ai-len.-
-Aoi...its only been two hours since I'm away.-
-I know...but its seems an eternity you've been gone.-
-Oh you. What's up?-
-Nothing. I just needed to hear your voice.-
-You've become very cheesy you know? He, he.-
-Yeah. Its your fault.-
-I consider myself proud of that fact.-
-I bet you are. Ah, do you wanna have dinner tonight?-
-All right. But outside. Not at your place, 'cause I know what kind of dinner that would be. I would be on the menu.-
-Why, of course. You do know me don't you?-
-Too well.-
-Ok, then. 8 o'clock in front of your favorite restaurant?-
-See ya there.-
-Love you.-
-Love you too Aoi.-

While he was hanging up, Aoi didn't feel so sure about Kai's words. He did feel loved when they were together, but now that they were separated he felt that in time the drummer will get distant and he will loose him. That feeling crept into his heart and for the rest of the day it stayed there.
When they met in front of the restaurant Kai greeted him with a smile and for now that feeling was put aside.
-Thanks for bringing me here. Its been a while since I was here.-
-Anything for you.-
-Aoi...-
-I know. Not in public.-
-I'm sorry.-
-Don't worry. Lets order shall we?-

Kai POV

Clearly this was bothering him but he didn't say anything. He probably thought I was doing this because I don't care, but he was wrong. I really didn't want to put our relationship in dangeour. What if someone would hear what we were saying? There could be a news reporter somewhere and if this would go public we'd be doomed. I could see that look in his eyes, meaning he was angry. That made me sad, 'cause how could he think I was ashamed of our relationship? I was proud of it. But I had to think of the band too, I was the leader in the end, I had a responsibility that had to be fufilled. I wished he could understand that.

Normal POV

-Thank you.-
-Aoi...-
-Mh?-
-Don't be angry with me please...-
-Is that what I am?-
-...yes. I know it bothers you we can't talk freely in public or hold hands and things like that. But I wish you would understand that is dangerous.-
-....I know that Kai. But I can't keep quiet forever. One day I wanna be able to tell you how I feel without the fear of being discovered.-
-I wish that too. But for now we have to keep it low.-
-Why? 'Cause of the band? Who is more important? The band or you and me?-

He didn't wanna answer that. Aoi put him in a difficult position. He looked away and refused to answer, which only made it clear to Aoi what was the answer.

-So, the band come first for you?-
-.....well, I am the leader, I have to do what's best for it.-
-Damn it Kai! You always to that. You put the band in front of your needs. You see, that's why I don't wanna go out with you. 'Cause everytime I feel like I'm talking with Kai the leader of the Gazette and not Kai, the man.....I love......-
-What do you want me to do!? Shall I jump all over you and let you kiss me and touch me? Do you want that? Do you want the whole world to know what is going on in one of the most popular bands in Japan!? That all the members are....gay? How would that look like? All that we have accomplished would be gone just because we couldn't controll our urges.-
-............you're right. You're apsolutely right. But you know what? YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD!!!!!! I hate you! I hate you...........damn you Kai.........-

He left the restaurant with tears filling his eyes. He knew this was gonna happen. Everybody in the restaurant were wondering what happened. Fortunately nobody knew them in there. Kai turned white and couldn't say a word. He got up like a ghost and payed the check. He then left to place and started wandering the streets of Tokyo like a shadow, stumbling and hitting people without even noticing.
It was over...he ruined it. And he was all he ever wanted, how could he not see that?

Aoi arrived to his appartament and slammed the door. He took a bottle of whisky and started drinking it. Before he noticed the whole bottle was gone. He then took another. When that one was finished, he took another one, until he passed out on the couch. He just wanted to forget, forget the whole thing, forget he ever met him, forget he ever kissed him and touch him. Forget he ever joined with him...


~Those words...those venomous words that won't let me die~







Reita and Uruha were on their way to Ruki's place. The guitarist decided it was time to end this. They rang the bell and after a minute he opened.
-You?-
-We need to talk.-said Uruha
-Come in...-
-I think...its time to finish this Ruki.-
-Finish what?-
-This. You trying to get Reita. I'm here to tell you its over.-
-Oh yeah?-
-Yeah. Tell him Reita.-
-Ruki....I love Uruha and this has got to stop. You and I will never be together, I love him for a long time, I wanna be with him, so no matter what you do....it won't work.-
-..........yeah. I kind of realized it after the punch you gave me. I won't enterfier anymore with you two. -
-You promise?-asked uruha
-Yeah. I have no business in a relationship where there is no space for me.-
-No, no. There is space for you. But...only as a friend.-said Reita
-.....well, something is better than nothing. Are we all right Uruha?-
-.....yes. Of course we're all right. We're friends in the end aren't we?-

Reita smiled when he saw the two shake hands. Ruki ment what he said, he wasn't going to enterfier. He realized they really loved eachother and he felt bad for trying to brake them, they were all friends for so many years. Should he end such a friendship because he wanted something he couldn't have. No, he wasn't ready for such a thing. The band was to continue for years, he wouldn't be the one to end their career over such a thing. There were plenty of fish in the sea, he would find someone else. But he would never fully get over Reita, such a thing for him was impossible.

-I'm glad we settled that.-said Uruha
-Me too.-
-Do you really think he will leave us alone?-
-Yes. I believe him. Besides, there would be no point in trying. I would turn him down.-
-Shall we go home?-
-...mh, baby. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?-
-I sure hope so.-
-I love you so much Uruha.-
-I know my love. I love you too.-

While the elevator was going down, their lips joined in a passionate kiss. Uruha put his arms around Reita's neck and deepened the kiss. Their tongues were rolling around eachother, exploring each part of the mouth. When they broke the kiss, the bassist holded him thightly. He only repated softly....Aishiteru.


~Eternity has finally arrived~



-Aoi?? Aoi are you there!? We need to talk!!-
No answer was coming from the other side of the door. Kai got worried and force entered the appartament. There he saw Aoi passed out on the couch and three bottles of whisky on the floor.
-What the hell have you done!? Aoi!! Wake up!!-
He went to the kitchen and took a glass of water. He splashed it onto Aoi's face.
-Aah! What the hell!?-
-Are you insane? Did you want to kill yourself!?-
-It crossed my mind...-
-You asshole! How could you do that? To yourself? To me?-
-To you!? How could you do that to me? All those things you said...-
-Please understand me....-
-There is nothing to understand!! I know the band is important to you. It is to me too! I love the guys and the things we do together. But...I love you more. I need you. And I need to tell you how I feel whenever I want to. I know it sounds selfish....but, to be careful is fine, to be too careful is not...-
-I know what you mean. I also wish I could hold your hand and tell you sweet words whenever I feel like it. But I can't....such a thing is not allowed in this world.-
-Yeah....I know. Auch my head....-
-Sit down. I'll make you some coffee.-

After he made the coffe he came back and gave it to him.
-Thanks.-
-....did you really mean what you said back there?-
-...depends. Remind me.-
-That I'm a selfish bastard and that you hate me?-
-......no, of course not. I was just mad. Sorry.-
-That's ok. But I would forgive you more easily...if you'd kiss me.-
-Hm...you're such a teasier.-
He layed him on the couch and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. He then placed a soft kiss on his neck while his hand travelled under his shirt.
-Aoi...-
-You don't want to?-
-I don't think you're quite capable...-
-....you're right. I do feel dizzy.-
-You should sleep.-
-Only if you stay with me.-
-Of course I'll stay. Can I...wear your pajamas today?-
-Hope they fit...-
-Actually I was thinking about that shirt you usually wear to go to bed.-
-Oh...we're wearing eachothers shirts now, ha? We've come far I must say...-
-I'm sorry about all this. I wish I'd be easier...-
-No, I'm sorry for being such an idiot. Yelling at you in a restaurant. And then getting drunk like that. I behaved like a teenager.-
-Well, you usually behave like a teenager, he, he.-
-I do, don't I?-
-Oh, I got I call before from Uruha. Everything is settled between them and Ruki.-
-That's great. Hey...do you think we should all celebrate New year together?-
-You actually want to be in company?-
-Well it is us. The five of us. What better way is there to celebrate than among friends?-
-That's the Aoi I know....that would be great.-
-Good...now.....you wanna merry me??-
-WHAT!!? AOI!!!!-

Having him so close ment the world to Aoi. Looking in his eyes was the greates thing he could do. He couldn't explain what it was in that man that made him love him so much, but he actually didn't care. Love didn't need to ask questions.



~Your words don't hurt me anymore. They are the ones that saved me.~



New Years Eve arrived and the guys were all togheter having a good time, drinking champagne and goofing around. They coulnd't ask for a better way to end the year.
-We should do this every year!- said Uruha
-Agreed!-said Aoi
-Ruki-chan, are you all right?-asked Kai
-Yeah. I'm great. This is the best party I'ever been too!! Wohoo!!-
-He's wasted.-said Reita
-I am not drunk. I am only in a very good mood. I'm having a lot of fun!-
-....he's wasteeed.-said all togheter

At about 3 o'clock in the morning Ruki fell asleep on the couch. Aoi and Kai went to one bedroom while Reita and Uruha to the other. All of them fell asleep very quickly.

Three hours later Ruki woke up and felt the need for a cigarette. He sat down near the balcony and lighted up. The moon was still up and it lighted up the living room. He turned his head thowards the bedrooms and after a long moment, smiled.

Even if they were together and he had no-one, he wasn't alone. He had them, his best friends and that was the best consolation prize he could get.

For now true love was out of his grasp, but his friends love....that he would always have.

Because friends...are forever....

~Owari~

Chapter four


Reita POV

I was looking at him while he was sleeping. He looked so peaceful, like he had no worries. But I did. I thought a lot about what Aoi said and as much as my heart was telling me he was right....my mind was filled with Ruki's words. What was the truth? I mean he probably said it because he was jelous, but it was known, between us members, that Uruha liked many people. Men and women. Fact being, men were his thing. So I was really afraid. When we made love I felt his love and his eyes swore to me that he would never cheat or leave me. But the mind is a powerful enemy and I was at war with myself, what was I supposed to do? I know that if I tell him I have doubts I will end up hurting him, and I don't want that... I really don't....

Normal POV

-Mh...Reita?-
-Hm? Oh, you're awake...-
-Is something wrong?-
-No. Why?-
-You look worried.-
-Its nothing, don't trouble yourself with it. Better tell me, would you like something to eat?-
-..........yes, if you will have some.-
-Sure. I'll go make a snack.-

Uruha POV

Something was bothering him, I could tell. That feeling crept back into my heart. Something happened yesterday and he didn't wanna talk about it. I wasn't gonna pressure him, but I needed to know what was wrong. I got up and got dressed. He was making breakfast and he was really serious. Why was he so misterious? Was it really that bad? I felt I was gonna suffer, but my curiosity won me over, so I got ready to ask and was gonna keep asking until he would tell me.

Normal POV

-Tell me.-
-Ha? What? Uruha. Tell you what?-
-Tell me what's bothering you. I need to know.
-There is nothing to tell. I'm fine.-
-TELL ME!!!-
-............fine. Sit down please.-
-I prefer to stand.-
-.....yesterday I met with Ruki. And....he told me....he loves me.....-
-...I knew it. I knew something was't right. And?-
-And he put doubt into my heart.-
-What kind of doubt?-
-....About you loving me. He kept telling me, how can I be sure you loved me and that you could leave me at any time. That you liked other people and one can't never be sure with you.-
-.....I see. What do you think? Can you be sure with me?-
-......yes. Yes I can. I know you love me...but I'm so afraid. I couldn't bare to loose you.-
-You're not gonna loose me! I love you, I did everything possible to make you understand and I fought so hard with my feelings for you. I am the one who should be afraid.-
-No. No, don't say that. I'm nothing without you....I need you. Promise me everything will be all right.-
-It will, my love, it will. Don't believe what he says, he's just jelous. I'm sorry for him, but I can't change the fact we love eachother.-
-....you're so good to me. I don't deserve you.-
-Sure you do. Doubt is a natural part of a relationship, it will always exist, it will happen many times. The important thing is that we don't let me consume us. Its good to doubt, but its bad to do it too much.-

Tears started flowing down Reita's cheeks. Uruha was an amazing person and he was so greatful he had him in his life. Even if they weren't a couple, to have him as a band mate would be enough.

-Ah...Reita-san...?-
-Hai?-
-This would be a good time to kiss.-
-You little sneak...-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-This is really good. I didn't know you could cook so well Aoi-san.-
-Glad you like, my love.-
Hi kissed him softly and Kai's heart started bearting faster.
-I love when you do that.-
-I know.-
-You're bad.-
-I know that too, he, he.-
-Are we gonna go out?-
-If you want. Where do you wanna go?-
-To see the others.-
-.......why? We already see eachother almost everyday.-
-??? Is something wrong? Did something happen!?-
-No, no. I just thought we are gonna spend some time alone. I want to be with you. Just with you.-
-Aoi...you're so possessive.-
-I have to be. I don't know who might be after you. You're so freaking sexy, I have to be careful.-
-You perv...you don't have to worry. I'm yours...and you know it.-
-Mmmhhh....I do...-

He was tasting him once again. Aoi couldn't get enough of his lips, they were so sweet. He purred into his ear and Kai got turned on immediately.
-Now?-
-Always...-
DRIIN, DRIIN
-Blasted phone!! WHAT!!?? Oh, hello mother.- ^^'''''
Kai giggled while Aoi was apologizing to his mother. She was clearly not glad he answered the phone in that way.

-So, how's your mother?-
-Shut up. She will talk about this for the rest of her life.-
-Poor baby. Do you need a hug?-
-No! But I would go for a kiss.-
-How about something else?-
-Wh—what?-

Before he could say anything else, Kai was on his knees, placing soft kisses all over his member. He licked the top and then went down for the whole longevity. Aoi left a moan of pleasure, he didn't know the drummer was so skilled.
-Kai...-
-Is it all righ?-
-Yes...don't stop...-
He took him fully into his mouth and started sucking him hard. Aoi leaned himself on the counter in need of support. He was dazed. While Kai was getting drunk (hohoho, I'm such a perv XXXDDD).
-Aa—aahh...Kai....nh...ah...-
He was close, but he didn't wanna come all over his face, but Kai didn't have a problem with that and he pulled him closer, teasing him even more.
-Aaaahhh...I'm gonna.....aahh!!-
-....was it good?-
-Yes...of course...can't you see? Or taste?-
-Hahaha. I'm glad.-
-But I came on your face....I didn't want that.-
-Its ok. I don't mind. I will clean it off and that's it.-
-Thanks. But it would be right if I returned the favor....-
-Later...I wil let you do whatever you want. But now lets go out.-
-But its freezing!!-
-Now, Yuu-san!-
-Ooohh, all right....-

They went out to have some fun. Kai was in a good mood and he was laughing all the time. Aoi was so pleased to see him happy and knowing that he had something to do with that, made him even happier. He wished he could kiss him so many times, but public exposure was dangerous.
At about noon they met with the others, even if Aoi wanted to be alone with him, but Kai was very good at convincing.
Ruki was there too and he got really mad when he saw Reita and Uruha being so close and happy. He didn't make it and that made him angry.
-Hey guys!!-
-Heyy! How are you?? Wow, leader, you look so happy.- said Uruha
-So do you.-
-Ah, uke's.-said Aoi and Reita with a sigh
-Hey!-
-Hahahahaha!!!!!-
-Oh Ruki-chan, why are you stading there?-
-Because. Come on, lets go to ger some food.-
-He is mad, because we're still together.-said Reita
-I can tell. Don't worry, we won't let him get in between you.-said Aoi
-Oh Aoi, my heroooo.-said Kai
-Very funny. I'm gonna get you for that.-
-I'm counting on it...-
-Uuuhhh.- said Reita and Uruha

After about half an hour of laughing and talking, Ruki had enough of it and attacked Uruha, altough in a civilized way.
-So, Uruha...are you doing your best to make Reita happy?-
-Not that is really your problem, but yes...I am...-
-Really? How do we know you're not gonna go with the first that comes in?-
-Well, first of all, the guy that just walked in is old. And second of all, I'm not the kind of person you think I am. I am loyal and I love Reita with all of my heart. You should know how hard it was for me to even tell him how I feel.-
-I hope you're right. 'Cause if you hurt him, I'm gonna kill you.-
-I'm sorry you have to suffer, I really am, but its not my fault things turned out the way they did.-
-........I'll keep my eye on you.-

He took his jacket and left the restaurant. Uruha was upset but happy he got to show him he was not afraid of him. But Ruki wasn't gonna give up so easily, he had something else in store.
-You'll see what I can do, Uru-chan...just you wait...-

-He's an idiot. Forget about him.-said Aoi
-I know. But I'm sorry for him. I can only immagine how he feels.-replied Reita
-That shouldn't be your problem.-said Uruha
-True. But you know me...I'm like that...-
-Yes. That's why I love you.-
-Aaaaaawwwww.-said Aoi and Kai
-Shut up.- -///////-

They spent a wonderful afternoon, laughing and talking, remembering the old days. It was truly a relaxation after all that hard work.
That night Uruha got a strange sms from Ruki, asking if he could come at his place the next day. Uruha replied he didn't want to and why was he all of a sudden asking him to come over. Bur Ruki insisted, saying it was important and that he wanted to apologize.

So, the next day Uruha arrived at the singer's appartament. He ranged the bell and after Ruki invited him in, he sat down and waited for an explenation. Why did he call him over?
-So? Why am I here?-
-Look....I really wanted to apologize for all the bad things I've said. I didn't mean them. We are friends for years. Its really bad from my part to behave like that. Its just that...I love Reita and I don't want him to end up hurt. You know what I mean? I think you feel the same.-
-Yes...I do. And that's why I accept your apologie. But I'm not sure about the whole thing. It seems you have something else to tell me.-
-Very good. I'm impressed. The thing is....I love Reita, but....I somehow got attracted to you too.-
-What!?-
-Yes. That's why I was so mad at you. If you would go with someone else...you would be hurting us both.-
-I don't understand...I thought you hated me for being with him.-
-I don't hate you! I was just mad it was you and not me. But....I realised, yesterday to be precise, after I left, that I liked you also. And now I'm confused, I don't know what to think anymore. Do I like you, or do I like him? Or do I like you both?-
-.....I, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you have all of these feelings mixing inside of you. I wish there was something I could do. Are you sure you like us both?-
-Yes. When I was saying you could go with the first that comes in, I felt sick. Just the thought of it made me go insane. You are beautiful Uru-chan and I think...I'm jelous of you both. 'Cause I don't know who I like more.-
Uruha POV

He was clearly making this whole thing up, I didn't believe a word of what he was saying, but I was curious to know where he was going with this whole sharade. What was his plan? I mean it was really stupid that after all he had said and done he would suddenly realize he likes me? Come on, I'm not that stupid.

Ruki POV

I knew he didn't believe me. But I didn't care, I just needed to buy some time, so that I could put my plan into action. He thinks I'm bad now, he should see what I have in store for him. I told you Uruha, I can't have him, but neither will you.

Normal POV

-Why did you call me here?-
-I told you. To apologize.-
-You know Ruki...you must think I'm really stupid. Why don't you tell me the truth?-
-What truth? That I like you? That right now I wanna trow you on the couch and ravish you? Is that what you wanna hear?-
-Don't do that. I would never hurt Reita.-
-I know. Neither would I. But he's not here right now...its all right to have some fun.-
-Stop it Ruki! What the hell do you want from me!? It was better when you were angry with me.-
-What's the matter? I'm not good enough for you? Is Reita really that good? I would like to try.-
-Enough!! Let go of me!-

Ruki pushed him on the couch and stopped his hands. Uruha tried to fight off but strange enough Ruki was stronger and he couldn't move. The singer started placing kisses all over his neck, licking it a bit.
-Ruki, stop it, please.-
-Mh...in a minute, dear.-
-What?-
He silenced him by capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Uruha tried to get free, but Ruki tightened the grip even more and started exploring him with his tongue.
-Mmmhh, R—ru....mmhh!!-
-What the fuck is going on!!!!???-
-Reita!! Is not....-
-You son of a bitch! Get your hands off him!!!-
-All right, all right. Bye Uru-chan.-

He realised then what was his plan. He just bought some time so that Reita could catch them together. The slimy bastard (I apologize to Ruki fans, I like him too, but somebody has to be the bad guy^^'''').
-Reita, please, its not what you think!-
-Shut up! We'll talk when we get home...-

Uruha POV

I was so scared. But not that he might punch me or something like that, I was afraid this was the end. Stupid Ruki, he managed to create a stur between us. I wanna kill him!

Normal POV

When they got home Reita slammed the door and pushed Uruha on the wall.
-You wanna tell me what the hell was that!!??-
-He tricked me! He called me yesterday telling me he wanted to apologize and then he started talking how he likes me too, that he doesn't know what to think, 'cause he likes us both. You and me. Some bullshit about how he's confused. But he only wanted to buy time so you could catch us.-
-And he made it....stupid asshole! Did you like it?-
-What!!?? No! He forced me! How could I like that?-
-I don't know...I'm just curious...-
-You're doubting me again....great....clearly his plan worked. And you're an idiot who thinks I would do something like that to you willingly! Go fuck yourself! Both of you!!-
-No Uruha, wait!!-

He was already out of the appartament and Reita hated himself in that moment. He didn't doubt him but what he saw, right was stuck in his mind and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Aoi? Where are you?-
-Here I am...-
Kai turned around and saw him standing with only a towel around his waist at the bedroom door.
-////////////-
-You like?-
-....y—yes....-
-Come here...-
The drummer obbeyed and went to him. Aoi pulled him closer and as usual passionately kissed him. Kai's jacket, shirt and pants were on the floor very quickly. The guitairst pulled him into the bedroom and pushed him on the bed. He climbed on top of him and removed the towel, revealing his already erect member.
-You want?-
-P—please...-
-Mh, I hoped you were gonna say that....-
Aoi went to his entrance and started weting it. His tongue worked around the little hole so good that Kai couldn't but scream out of pleasure.
-I didn't even start yet.-
He pushed two fingers inside of him, stretching him as much as he could. Kai was moaning of pleasure and then Aoi fully penetrated him.
-Aah! Ah...Aoi...nh...-
-All right?-
-Yes.-
He burried himself deep inside him, feeling the hotness of his entrance. He bit one of his nipples and then enrolled his tongue around it, leaving saliva. He then licked his chest and placed a kiss onto his belly button. They joined their hands and Aoi started pushing himself harder and harder.
-I love you Kai. Nh...ahh...-
-A—Aoi....harder, harder....-
-Yes, my love, as you wish.-
-Nh....aaahhh....yes....harder! Ah, Aoi!!-
-Glad you're enjoying it.-
-Of course I am. I love you. Ah!-
He pushed himself a few more times, while the sweat was dripping from his chest and Kai's member was already filling with pre-ejaculate. Aoi took his member and started masturbating him, making him even more crazy.
-Ah, yes, yes!! Ah, Aoi!! Nh...yeees!!!-
-Scream baby, let me hear you...-
-Aaaahhhhh!!! More, give me more!-
-Sure baby. A pleasure.-
He was pushing hard and very soon he felt his moment and with a scream he released himself inside of his lover, while Kai came into his hand.
-....that....was so good....-
-Thank you dear....your happiness is my happiness.-
-Baka. I adore you.-
-Same here. Want a cigarette?-
-Yes, please.-

He got up to take the pack. Kai was looking at him in adoration, thinking how this came to be. He found his happiness with this man who had been his friend for years, his band mate. Now they were lovers and he didn't find it strange. In fact...he found it very normal.

-Here you go.-
-Thanks.-
-What are you thinking?-
-How much I'm glad to have you.-
-Feeling's mutual.-

Someone once said, happiness was so fragile, you had to treat it like a piece of glass, or it will brake. And their happiness was about to be put to a test...for nothing lasts forever...



Your venomous words...I wish I could hear them now...

Chapter three


It was Christmas. The guys were all in their respective homes, celebrating with their families. Uruha was trying not to think of Reita and his smile, but it was impressed in his mind and carved in his heart, he wanted to be with him so badly and so did Reita, who was lost in his fantasies as usual (XD)

Aoi was thinking about Kai and he wasn't present with his mind, which many members of his family noticed, but he didn't care. He would stand alone near the window, drink some whisky and think of that face that captured him so much. Kai on the other hand tried to be present with his mind, but Aoi's eyes kept appearing in front of him. Even if the whole family was there he felt alone, because he wasn't with him. Love was such a complicated thing.

The 26th arrived quickly and Aoi was already ringing at Kai's door.
-You didn't waste any time.-
-I missed you so much!-
His tongue was inside of his mouth exploring him fully. Kai wanted to push him away but he was too strong, so he gave in, which honestly wasn't bothering him anymore.
-I love you Kai. I need you to know that.-
-Yes, Aoi, I know...don't worry...-
-So...did you have fun?-
-If by fun you mean the fact that I was thinking about you all the time.-
-Well, you're not alone...I didn't hear half of what my family was saying.-
-.......touch me........-

Aoi couldn't believe it, was he ready this time?? He was scared, but he did what he asked. He touched his face and gently stroked him, but Kai had different ideas. He took his hand and guided it under his shirt. Aoi could feel his soft skin and shivers ran down his spine, it was so beautiful, to be able to touch the one you love.
-Kai...are you sure?-
-Yes...I've been thinking about it all day, yesterday...I'm ready.-
-You have to bee a 100% sure...I....-
The drummer silenced him, by putting his fingers onto his lips, Aoi could see he was serious.
-Ok...if you're sure...I won't oppose...-
-I didn't think you will...-

The guitarist took off his shirt and let it fall on the ground. Kai came closer and placed a soft kiss on his collar bone. Aoi helped him take off his shirt, so they were now half way.
-You look so fragile.-said Aoi
-Well, I'm not...so don't treat me like I'm made of glass...I won't brake...-
-Maybe you won't...but something will...-
-You're such a perv...-
-You like it that way...don't you...?-

Kai grinned and came closer once again, placing soft kisses all over his chest and his belly. Aoi closed his eyes and let himself be taken away by this feeling. He then stopped the drummer and pushed him on the couch that was right behind. Kai bounced a bit and in a matter of seconds Aoi was all over him caressing his chest and placing kisses all over his neck.
-Nh..Aoi...-
-Save it for later...-
-You're gonna ruin me, won't you?-
-Of course my love...but I will do it gently...-

He wasn't so sure about that, but he trusted Aoi and he let himself go completely. Soon both pants were on the floor and quickly after the boxers faced the same destiny. Aoi was actually terribly nervous but he tried not to show it. He continued to place kisses all over Kai's chest, moving to his belly, stopping onto his belly button. He enrolled his tongue arround it, leaving saliva. He then arrived to his member and placed a kiss on the top. That sent volts of pleasure into Kai's brain and he got excited.
-That was quick.-
-Well...your lips do that effect...-
-Mmmhhh...you're so sweet.-
He was now licking it from top to bottom and Kai was loosing his mind. After this little torture he took him fully into his mouth and started sucking him hard (don't die on me girls XD).
-Nh...aahh..Aoiii...-

The guitarist grinned and continued to torture him.
-I don't know how long I'm gonna last...-
-Then we'll stop. We don't want you to finish too soon.-
Aoi passed whit his hand up his leg arriving to his inner thy. His touch was gentle and yet very excting.
-Do you have any oil?-
-In the bathroom...-
He ran to take it and when he came back he looked his lover straight into his eyes.
-Ready?-
-....yes....please....-
That was enough for Aoi. He went back onto his knees and dropped some oil onto his fingers. He went to his entrance and gently started massaging him. Kai bit his lower lip, it was so good. Aoi then started stretching him, which made him moan a bit.
-Are you all right?-
-Yes...go on...-
One finger found its way in and then another.
-A—aah...-
-Shall I put a third one?-
-.......y-yes......-
His eyes were dim, he was lost in the pleasure that Aoi was giving him. In that moment a third finger was slipped in and the guitarist captured his lips in a passionate kiss, hoping to make him feel better, not to make him think of the pain. And it worked. Kai didn't even notice when the fingers were replaced by Aoi's member. He pushed himself completely and only then Kai realized what was happening.
-......move.....-
-....your wish is my command...leader-sama...-
-Very funny...aaahhh....-
-Good?-
-Y—yes....nh...ah....-
-You're so beautiful when you're in exctasy....aaaahhhh....-
-Don't stop! Harder!-
-Yes!! Nh..Kai...-
He continued to push himself deeper and harder as he could, until he felt his time was near.
-My love...I'm not gonna last much longer...-
-Me neither...Aoi...come inside...-
-Of course...-
He pulled him closer, making a friction between them, when their nipples touched eachother. Aoi panthed and released himself inside of Kai, who came soon after, spilling his seed onto his belly. The guitarist fell down, breathing hardly, happy that he was finally connected to his beloved.
-That was...wonderful...-
-I agree. Kai...did I really fulfil your expectations?-
-Hai, ai-len...you did...-


Reita POV

I can't wait to see him. I'm going nuts without his touch, without his kisses, I want to hold him. Maybe we will finally...no, I'de better not push him, I love him too much to force him. I'm here, well, we better ring the bell.

Normal POV

-Its me.-
-Come up.-
When he arrived, Uruha was already waiting for him at the door with a smile.
-Uruha!-
He jumped into his arms, claiming his lips in a passionate kiss. They fell on the floor and Reita continued to kiss him, while his hand slipped under his shirt.
-Reita...-
-Sorry. I lost control.-
They got up and Uruha closed the door.
-Did you think of me??-asked Reita
-I did. I couldn't enjoy completely in the dinner.-
-What did you think about? Oh I know...about how I will ravish you...-
-Shut up. Is that all you think about?-

Reita didn't answer, he jut hugged him from behind and put his head on his shoulder.
-I think about it...because I need you. I want to feel your skin and kiss you all over. I love you and I want to be connected with you in every possible way...-
-Ryo-san...-
-Don't say it like that, or I will loose it and you will end up ravished.-
-.....then ravish me....-
-Wh—what!?-
-You heard me...take me Reita...I'm yours...-
-Are you sure?-
-.....yes.....I need you too....-
Reita was lost in his eyes and he pushed him on the table that was near by and wildly started undressing him. He then took his own clothes and slowed down. He was nervous in seeing Uruha's naked body in front of him (+___+). He touched him with a trembling arm and when he felt his skin he shivered. So, perfect, so white, so soft. He had to kiss it.
His lips traveled from his neck to his nipples. He gently bit one, making Uruha tremble. The guitarist put his arms around him and enjoyed in everything the bassist was doing to him.
-Oh, Reita...you drive me wild...-
-Not as much as you drive me wild. You're perfect. I want you bad.-
-Then move your ass, I'm getting bored here.-
-You'll be the one moving your ass, baby.-
-Well...what are you waiting for? Make me move it.-
-You little bitch...-
-You like me that way...dont you...Rei-rei...?-

He was histerical with desire. He ravished his lips, while his fingers traveled to his entrance which he started massagins slowly. Uruha moaned between the wild kisses he was receiving from Reita. The bassist then broke the kiss and took some kitchen oil, that was near by.
-But...that's normal oil!-
-So? You're not gonna die of it...relax...-
He trusted his lover and yes, he was right, there was nothing wrong with that oil. Reita dropped some onto his fingers and immediately pushed two fingers inside of Uruha.
-Ah!!-
-Hurt?-
-A bit...-
-I'll go slower...-

And he did. He moved slower and then a third finger found its way in. Uruha bit his lower lip and shut his eyes, it was hurting, but soon enough the pain was gone and gave way to the pleasure. The fingers were replaced by Reita's member and Uruha screamed.
-Nh....aaaahhhh!!!!-
-Sshh...its ok..its ok...it will be ok...-
Reita moved as slowly as possible and in the end, Uruha started moaning of pleasure.
-Better?-
-Yes...nh...faster...go faster...-
-You don't need to tell me twice...-

He moved faster and faster, harder and harder, while Uruha was going mad out of pleasure.
-Oh Reita....-
-I love you baby...-
-I love you too...aa—aahh...-
-Put your legs around me.-
-Ok.-

He put his legs around Reita's weist and the bassist pushed himself a few more times until he filled his lover with his seed making Uruha come too when he felt the warm liquid flow through his entrance.
-Reita...-
-Uruha...I love you so much...-
-I know baby....I know...-

It was such a wonderful feeling to finally have him completely.

Truly amazing...







Ruki POV

They must be togheter...damned it! He surely ran to see his beloved Uruha. And he greeted him with arms wide open. Reita you bastard...why didn't you choose me? I could give you so much more than him. Maybe I should show you and then you'll change your mind!
Why...why do I have to love you so much? You only see me as a friend..I can't bare that...stupid, fucking love! I never thought this could happen to me. And with a man none the less. That I should suffer for a man...the tragedy of it all...

Normal POV

The phone ranged.
-Hello?-
-Ruki? Its me.-
-Reita? Hey...what's up?-
-I need to talk to you.-
-If its about Uruha, I'm not interested...-
-....but I need to talk to someone abou it. You're my best friend...-
-..............-
-Please...-
-.....fine. At the same place in an hour.-
-Great. Thanks!-

Ruki POV

I can't believe I said yes. I really don't need to hear about all that. But I can't say no to him...oh man, I have to arm myself with courage and patience. But then again...this might be a good chance to cause a little mischief between them...(Ruki's evir prans XXDD)

Normal POV

Uruha was asleep on the couch and Reita was getting ready to leave when his cell phone ranged.
-Hello?-
-Hey Rei-chan. Its me.-
-Oh hey Aoi, what's up?-
-I would like to see you. Do you have some time?-
-Actually I'm going out with Ruki, but tomorrow would be ok.-
-How about later? Its important.-
-All right, 4 o'clock?-
-Ok, see ya.-

-Uruha?-
-Mh...where are you going?-
-To take a coffe with Ruki, I'll be back soon.-
-Ok. Say hello.-
-I will.-

He placed a soft kiss on his lips and left. Uruha felt something strange inside his heart, fear crept into his being and he knew something was wrong. Something was about to happen.

-Hey. Thanks for putting up with me.-
-Well...we are friends aren't we?-
-Yeah...but I bet you don't wanna hear about me and Uruha....ehm...-
-You did it!?-
-Yes...-
-When??-
-Earlier. He's asleep now.-
-........how was it?-
-Great. I never thought it would be so good to do it with a man.-
-Was it weird?-
-Well...yeah...but then it became amazing...-
-Wow. It sounds good...I'm a little jelous...-
-Find yourself someone, ne?-
-....I did....but he doesn't love me like that...-
-!!!??? Who is it...?-
-................-
-....Oh...oh Ruki...I'm so sorry....I didn't know...I....-
-Its ok...I didn't make myself clear. I should have spoken before.-
-Yeah, but I should have seen it. You were always so close to me and I was so stupid not to see it, forgive me please.-
-I do. Don't worry about it. Better tell me...are you sure Uruha is the one for you?-
-Of course. He is everything I always wanted. I love him.-
-But does he love you?-
-Sure he does. He told me so and I feel it. I know it...-
-Do you?-
-........what are you trying to do, Ruki?-
-Nothing. I'm just asking you a simple question. How can you be sure he really loves you? You know he liked Aoi some time ago and you were dying of jelousy, or am I wrong? How do you know he's not gonna fall for someone else?-
-Stop it! You just wanna confuse me, because you're jelous, I'm not gonna fall for that. And that deal with Aoi was very short. Not worth mention it.-
-Very short, yeah. Until he suddenly realised, just like that, out of the blue, that you are the one he really loves. Sounds a bit unrealistic doesn't it?-
-Shut up! You know nothing of him! After all these years you still don't know what kind of persone he is!-
-Oh and you do?? Just because you fucked him, doesn't mean you know everything...-
-Fuck you! You don't know shit! You stupid asshole.-

He took his jacket and left the caffee. Ruki grinned. He might have played the tough guy in front of him, but the seed of doubt was planted inside his mind. If he couldn't have him, at least he will have a little fun.


Reita didn't go back to Uruha's place. Instead he went home, telling him he had to clean up a bit and after seeing Aoi, he would come back.
So, later that afternoon he met with Aoi in a bar. The guitarist could see he was upset.
-Reita, what's wrong?-
-Nothing...-
-Don't give me that. I'm not stupid.-
-How are things with you and Kai?-
-Great. We...ah...did it...-
-Yeah....so did we...-
-You and Uruha? Awesome.-
-Aoi...did he ever tell you he liked you a while ago?-
-Like me!? Oh no, Reita...he didn't like me. We spent time togheter because he was asking me advices on how to express his feelings. Trying to make me think it was a girl he was in love with, but I knew all along it was you. A blindman could see it. But he came to the wrong person, 'cause I also had my issues.-
-....that's all?-
-Yes. The man adores you. Don't ever think different.-
-.........Ruki told me he loves me.......-
-...I see. And then he put doubt into your heart.-
-Yes. Aoi...how can I be sure?-
-What do Uruha's eyes tell you?-
-.....that he loves me.....-
-Then, that's all you need to know.-
-Is that how you know that Kai loves you?-
-Of course.-
-.....I guess you're right. But....why did you call me here? What was so important?-
-This. I needed to tell someone about me and Kai.-
-Right. How was it?-
-I wouldn't change it for nothing in the world.-

They spent the afternoon talking about their relationships. But Reita still wasn't calm. Aoi was right, Uruha loved him, but how can a person be sure? How can someone be really sure that the person you love, loves you back?

Ruki POV

Sorry Uruha...but someone has to suffer...even a little bit...if I can't have him...neither will you...


No eternity for you and me...not now...not ever...

Chapter two



It was Christmas Eve and Ruki was talking on the phone with his mother. She was checking out if he was gonna come to dinner tomorrow.
-Yes, of course ka-san, I will be there.-
-All right then, see you. Bye!-

Ruki POV

My mother is always so excited about these dinners and stuff...bah...I would rather be with....stop it Ruki, don't be an idiot. His eyes are all over Uruha, I saw it many times. I'de better put these feelings aside, they don't do me any good. Damn it! Why did I have to fall for him, when he likes another. Stupid love, it only ruins people. If only I could invite him tomorrow, but it wouldn't be right, he has his own family. You're a fool Ruki...he's not gonna look at you around Uruha...

Normal POV

The phone rang once again and when he picked up he couldn't believe it...
-Hello Ruki?-
-Reita?? Hy!-
-Wow, somebody is in a good mood, he, he.-
-Yeah, its Christmas in the end, ne? We're supposed to be cheerful. So, what's up?-
-I'm in front of your appartament, do you wanna go for some hot chocolate?-
-*oh my God* anooooo....yeah, sure, I'll be right down.-
-Ok, I'll be waiting.-

He was there, asking him out, maybe not all of his hopes were in vain. He put his shoes on, took his jacket and went out. He was pushing the button of the elevator to make it come as quick as possible.
When he arrived downstairs he got so nervous he wanted to go back, but he took all of his courage and stepped outside.

-Ohayou!-
-Hey, there you are.-
-Yes. Shall we go?-
-Sure.-

They went into the chocolate caffe that was two blocks away and after they've ordered, Reita turned to look at Ruki, who was hoping he was gonna tell him what he wanted to hear for a long time. But instead...

-Ruki-san...-
-Hai?-
-I need your help.-
-Ah...sure, what's the matter?-
-I think....you know how I feel about Uruha...-
-.............ah, yeah, I've kind of noticed.-
-Well, yesterday we went out and he told me he feels the same. I'm really happy, but I don't know what to do next?-

Ruki POV

I thought I was gonna kill somebody. Here we were, finally sitting alone in a chocolate caffe, in this romantic enviorement and he was asking me about what was the next step he should take! I was so mad I just wanted to get up and leave but he was almost begging me to help him and I couldn't say no.

Normal POV

-Well, the logical step would be to go out a few more times and then...you know...-
-!! That part scares me...I mean I've never done it before...its weird...-
-You'll get to that. First take him out and behave like a normal couple, without the smooching part of course and without holding hands.-
-That's not fair...-
-Life is not fair my friend.-
-.....I really love him...I don't wanna do anything that would hurt him...-
Ruki's heart was shreading in peaces, nothing ever hurt him like Reita's words. He felt he was going to die of sorrow.
-Ruki?-
-I'm fine. Like I said take him out. Its the normal thing to do.-
-Yes, you're right...I'll do that...where should I take him?-
-How the hell should I know!?-

His eyes were filling with tears and he fought against them very hardly, he was about to let them flow, but he swallowed hard and drank a sip of water.
-I'm sorry...but aren't you the done who should plan the date, not me?-
-....yes, of course. Gomen, its just I'm very nervous.-
-You don't say?-

They laughed but Ruki clenched his fist and looked outside the window...he really had no hope now...



~~~~~~~~~~~


Kai woke up that morning and it took him several minutes to realize where he was.
-Ohayou...-
-!! Aoi-san...-
-You looked so lovely while you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you up.
-You're such a romantic...-
-I know. Did you sleep well?-
-Yes. Oh God..we didn't...-
-No...don't worry...it wouldn't be fun if you didn't co-operate.-
-Very funny, Yuu-san.-
-Hoho, calling me by my real name...then I suppose I should do the same, ne, Uke-san?- (yes, that is Kai's name ^^''', I immagine the accent is different and it doesn't mean the same thing...but still...its funny)

He said his name with a giggle. Kai frowned and turned his head around, while his cheeks were now red.
-No need to blush ai-len...leave that for later...-
-Stop it...-
-Why? Don't you like it?-
-Sure I do...but not yet...-
-Yes, my love...as you wish...-
-Aoi...-
-Ssshhh...save those sinful lips for something better...-

Aoi leaned forward and captured his lips in the most passionate kiss Kai had ever known. Their tongues were now dancing a frenetic dance for dominance which was won by the drummer. But Aoi didn't mind being won by him, in fact he loved it. He put his arms around Kai and laid him on the bed, but the drummer wasn't ready
-No, Aoi...please...-
-You're right, I'm sorry. I was just carried away by your kiss...and those...truly sinful lips...-

His words were now a whisper and Kai's heart was pounding once again. Their eyes met and Aoi was entranced by the facial structure of his lover, which he had seen so many times but now that he was so close to him, he could see every line of his face. His wonderful eyes, his perfect cheekbones and those lustful lips.
-You bewitched me Kai-san...I want to spend the rest of my life with you...even if one day the band would stop to exist...I would still want to be with you...-
-Don't look so far into the future...things change...people change...-
-True...but I know I'll love you forever. I just know myself and when I fall in love...there is no-one else, and till now I've fell in love just once.-
-And who was the lucky girl?-
-.......you, ai-len.-

Kai couldn't resist and he pulled him closer and claimed his lips in another passionate kiss. Aoi was drunk on his lips, he never wanted to brake that kiss, but he had to breath hadn't he?
-Don't stop...-
-I need air, Aoi-san.-
-I love you so much...-
-I love you too. But...how will we go on from here?-
-One step at the time, ne?-
-Yes. But what is the next step?-
-....how about breakfast and then we'll think of the rest?-
-.....mh, sure.-

Kai POV

He looks at me like I'm some sort of perfect man, but I'm not. Still...his kisses make me believe I could be at least a better man. His hands are trembling, he is actually very nervous about all this. Just like me he is wondering if we can make it. I love him so much...

Normal POV

-Are you all right?-
-Yes. I was just looking at your hands...they're trembling...-
-Ha? Oh...they are...I didn't even notice...-
-You know, you don't have be strong. You don't have to pretend everything is fine. This is a weird situation, its ok to be scared.-
-...........I know, I just don't want you to think I seduced you and now I'm clueless on what to do next.-
-I would never think that. Besides you didn't seduce me, it was a mutual consentement, we both admitted our feelings at the same time.-
-You sure know when to say the right thing...-
-I do try...-

Aoi POV

He was looking at me once again and all I could think about was capturing his lips and ravish him. What a pig I am. But those pink lines that were his lips drove me mad. Everything about him drove me mad, every touch made me wild with desire. The touch of his skin on mine was an explosion of emotions I had never felt before. I wondered what would have happened when the real thing would kick in.

Normal POV

-Do you know....that Uruha loves Reita?-
-Yes. And Reita loves Uruha.-
-How did you know!?-
-I'm not stupid you know? I do notice many things. And such a thing is impossible not to notice. Especially with Uruha, he is obvious most of the time, he, he.-
-Yeah...well, there might a problem with that relationship.-
-And that would be...?-
-......Ruki.....-


Ruki POV

You stupid idiot! How can you like him more than me!? What does he have that I don't!? Uruha, Uruha, all he talks about is his beloved Uruha! Its not fer! Right now I hate him! Damned it! Oh my God, its not possible...

Normal POV

Reita and Uruha were across the street, sharing a smile. It was obvious Reita wanted to hold his hand. But how did he get here so quickly? They've must have arranged to meet before he even called Ruki. That was too much for him to bare, he gave a punch to the wall near him and let the tears flow. It was the worst feeling in the world...

-Where are you taking me?-
-You'll see.-
-Reita!-
-Oh shut up and walk faster.-

They arrived to the cinema. Twilight was playing, Uruha liked that franchise (I dunno if its true XD) and Reita saw it as an opportunity to be close to him in pubblic without fear.

-Twilight? Oh, Reita you really are sneaky.-
-I know. Two tickets please.-

After they bought pop-corns and some coke, they set down. Uruha looked around, nobody was paying attention to them. They were just two friends at the movies.

-Don't worry, nobody is looking at us.-
-I know...just checking...-
-I'm not gonna ravish you, you know?-
-One can't be too sure...-
-Is that what you think of me?-
-.....no Ryo-san...never....-
-...now see, you shouldn't do that, because then I could ravish you.-
-...baka.-

Reita smiled and that made Uruha blush. It was damned hard controlling his emotions when he was doing such sweet faces. The movie began and they watched in peace. But while Robert and Kirsten were doing their love scenes, Reita was lost in his fantasies about how he would be Edward Cullen and Uruha would be Bella and he would be suckling his sweet blood. And not only from his neck but other places too
(buahahaha, I'm laughing so hard right now XXDD).

Afterwards they went to take a coffee and smoke a cigarette and all the time the bassist was practically drooling over Uruha, while his fantasies were getting stonger. Clearly the movie made an impact on him.

-Would you stop staring?-
-I can't. I want to grab you and do yo on this table.-
-Reita!!-
-All right, all right, I'll stop.-
-.........-
-....Don't tell me you didn't think of it yourself?-
-Stop it.-
-Hai, hai, don't get so upset.-

He was smiling again and now it was Uruha who was lost in his fantasies about how he would push Reita on the floor and ride him.

-Shall we go out tomorrow?-
-Tomorrow is Christmas. I'll be going home, remember?-
-Right. I suppose I'll hed home myself.-
-I know you wanna be with me, but for one day we can make this small sacrifice.-
-We don't even celebrate it! Why do we have to follow this tradition that's not even ours?-
-'Cause two centuries ago we accepted western politics and ideals. Since then even their holidays have become part of our culture. Besides its an excuse to bring all your relatives in one place and ask questions about their lives under the false pretence of wanting to spend your time with them...-
-........hahahahaha!!! You crack me up. But you're right. Its always fun to hear about my cousins lives and then whisper about it in the kitchen.-
-....I love you.....-
-I know. You don't have to worry. I'm not mad if you're going to see your parents. I'll miss you, but not for that will I think you stopped loving me.-
-....arigatou.-
-Don't ever thank me about such a thing. Or I'll really ravish you wherever we happen to be.-


Uruha had to smile at that. He really loved him, there was no point in worrying over some matters. He put out his sigarette and carefully, in fear of being seen, stroke Reita's hand. The bassist smiled once again and winked.
They were so happy, like they thought they would never be.

-Do you plan to tell the others?-
-Ruki knows.-
-What?-
-Yeah. And I'm sure Aoi and Kai know too. They're not stupid.-
-How do you think they will take it?-
-Are you really so blind?-
-What do you mean?-
-Aoi and Kai are crazy about eachother. You can see it from a mile away.-
-I actually did notice something...-
-So, don't worry. Everything will be fine.-
-Will it?-
-Yes, my love, it will...-

Uruha POV

Somehow I wasn't sure about that. I had the feeling that something was going to happen. That he would be taken from me. I loved him terribly and to be without him was the worst punishment. He kept looking at me with loving eyes, wanting to kiss me at any moment, but I kept the distance, it was too much to risk. And the fact that Ruki knew made me worry. There was something that just didn't feel right and I couldn't tell what it was, which bugged me. Loosing him was the thing that scared me the most...



~~~~~~~~~~


-Are we gonna stay here all day?-asked Kai
-Where do you want to go? Tell me and well'go.-
-I'm not a child Yuu-san, you don't have to talk to me in that tone.-
-You're so cute when you're mad.-
-Stop it. -//////-
-Oh no don't blush. It drives me insane.-
-Its so easy to drive you insane.-
-Are you teasing me?-
-I might be...-

They were about to kiss when the phone rang, which in Kai's case was a life savior, 'cause he didn't want to do it yet and he knew he would have given in to Aoi.

-Hello?-
-Yuu-san!-
-Oh, hello ka-san. What is it?-
-Did I interrupt in you something?-
-Actually you did. But tell me, what can I do for you?-
-Well, are gonna come tomorrow?-
-Tomorrow? Oh yeah...its Christmas...-
-Don't tell me you forgot?-
-I did, to tell you the truth. I've been a little busy. But yeah, fine, I'll be there.-
-All right then. See ya.-
-Bye. Freaking holiday...-

He turned around and Kai was looking outside the window. He looked so fragile in that moment.
-Are you gonna go to see your fokes?-
-.....hm? Yeah, sure I will.-
-Fine. I guess I'll see you on the 26th then. Will I?-
-......yes of course you will.-
-Kai....-
-Oh for crying out loud, Aoi, its not like I'm going on the other side of the world.-
-I know. But a day without you is like death...-
-Please don't do that...-
-Gomen...come on lets go get some coffee.-
-You're not mad at me, are you?-
-About what?-
-About me not wanting to do it so soon.-
-...no, of course not. Kai...I would never be mad at you for such a thing. Its would be stupid of me. We agreed to go one step at the time and that's what we'll do. I love you too much to risk loosing you over such a stupid thing.-

The drummer looked at him and then kissed him even more passionately then before. Aoi was struck by such strength. He put his arms around him and let himself be taken away into a dream from which he never wanted to wake up...


Your venomous words....a knife trough my heart...

Title: Your venomous words have no eternity
Rating: R-18
Author: Manas-lover/Yo-chan
Pairings: AoixKai, ReitaxUruha (slightly RukixReita)
Summary: Everybody wishes to spend Christmas with their loved ones, but what if the one you love doesn't want to have anything to do with you? Or at least it seems to be so (pretty lame I know, but it gets interesting, you'll see ^^)
Warning: AU, RPS (real person slash)
Note: is written almost in a style of a diary




Chapter one



Aoi POV

The crowd has their hands up in the air, the swet is dripping down our faces, our hearts are pounding as we jump across the stage. While Ruki sings the last lines of “Zetsu” I turn around to play my last rif. I never should have done that. Why? You will know soon enough.

Normal POV

-Yeah! That was great! An awesome way to finish the year.- said Uruha raising his hand and slapping five with Reita
-Aoi doesn't seem pleased.- said Kai, almost frowning
-I am. Sure I am. It was a great show, we all did our best and everybody was pleased.-
-Ok, ok, lets not start an argument three days before Christmas.- said Ruki
-Ruki's right. Why don't we have a drink instead?- said Uruha with a smile
-What a surprise that those words should come out of your mouth Uru-chan.-
-Very funny Reita, like you don't drink yourself.-
The two went to the fridge and took out five beers, one for each member. After they opened the bottles they raised them and made a toast -Gazetto!-said Kai -Gazetto!-repeated the others

-Kai?-
-Yes Aoi?-
-Can we talk?-
-About?-
-About why you have been avoiding me and adressing me in that venomous tone.-
-Venomous tone!? Is that what it sounds like?-
-Yes.-
-.........-
-What is wrong?-
-Nothing is wrong Aoi. I've been keeping to myself a bit more, 'cause I was busy with the band. I mean I am the leader, I have to take care of many things.-
-Bullshit! That's the worse lie you could have come up with. Tell me the truth! Have I done something to make you mad??-
-No!-
-Then what is it!?-
-Nothing! I....I can't tell you...-
-Why not?-
-Because is hard for me........I gotta go. See ya.-

I told you before I never should have turned when I was playing my rif. It was because when I turned I saw Kai behind his drums and even tough I had seen him an infinite number of times, this time something struck me and I realised....I loved him. Yes, I did. But not as a friend, no....as a man. And that terrified me. And now that he is acting so strange, is even worse. I feel like my heart is breaking in millions of pieces while my arms wanna reach him, hold him, his lips are a sin and I wanna kiss them.
What is wrong with me!?

Kai...

......

Kai POV

Stupid, stupid, stupid! How can I be so stupid!? I should have told him, it would have been the end of it. But what if rejects me? What if he doesn't want me? Uruha said to tell him, but how can I listen to him, when he himself doesn't wanna tell Reita? No, I will keep this for myself, I don't wanna suffer even more than I do now. But I don't know how much longer will I be able to hide it, it becomes heavier on me with each day that passes.
I remember the day when I realised my true feelings. He was sitting on the couch, playing his guitar and he had a cigarette in his mouth. He looked so sexy. I think I blushed and my heart started beating faster, I knew I loved him. He looked up when he saw me standing there and smiled. I think he said something like, Kai-chan what are you doing there? Come sit here. But I can't be sure, my eyes were locked with his and all my mind kept saying to me, was: kiss him. I should have done it there and then.
What a fool I am!

Normal POV

It was about to snow, the clouds were getting darker and the air was colder by the minute. Uruha was walking fast so he could arrive home as quick as possible. He arrived in front of the door just in time to hear the phone ring. He opened the door and ran to the phone.
-Hello?-
-Hey Uru-chan its me.-
-Hey Reita. What's up?-
-I was thinking...Christmas is in threedays, I immagine you are going to spend it with your family. So, how about tomorrow we spend the day togheter?-
-Ah...well...*what should I do?*-
-If you don't want to its fine, I'm not gonna get mad.-
-Oh no, no...I just didn't expect it...-
-Maybe it was bad idea.-
-No! I will gladly spend the day with you.-
-Realy?-
-Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow then.-
-Ok, great. Bye.-

Uruha POV

He asked me out...could it be he feels the same? Oh, what am I thinking? He is probably just bored and wants to kill some time before Christmas. Well...I guess its better than nothing. My heart is still pounding. I'm so scared I'm gonna blow it. Its Reita after all...
What should I ware? Oh look at me! I'm like a schoolgirl going on her first date with her dreamboy. But its Reita...everything he does makes me shiver, every move, every look he gives me, the way he walks and talks...

He looked outside the window...it was snowing...


Reita POV

He said yes...maybe my wishes will come true...my beautiful Uruha...I spent too much time in silence, its time to tell him how I feel. But...what if he rejects me? I am such a fool to think he would want me...when he could have anyone he wants? Why would he want me?
My heart tells me he likes me too, but my mind keeps telling me the opposite. Why? Why do I like him so much? What is it about him that drives me mad? I guess...everything...

I love you Uruha...yes...that is the truth...


Normal POV

Aoi was watching TV when he heard a soft knocking at the door, he got up and went to see who it was.
When he opened it, he got a little shock
-K—kai...what are you doing here?-
-I owe you an apologie for earlier. I didn't mean to snap at you like that...its just...-
-......come in, don't stand there.....-

Aoi's heart was pounding and his hands were shaking. Kai was in his appartament, what was he supposed to do?
-Aoi?-
-....ha? Yes, I...sit down. Do you want some tea?-
-No thanks...-
-.....I accept your apologie if...-
-If what?-
-If you tell me what's been on your mind lately.-
-*damned it*-
-Please Kai...I need to know...let me a part of it...I wanna help you...-
-You can't help me...-
-Why not?-
-Because...there is only one way you could help me, but I'm sure you would hate me if I told you.-
-Did you do something? Is it bad?-
-No, I didn't do anything...I...-

Aoi POV

He was looking at me with those eyes, I just wanted to jump and ravish him. My lips were trembling, my brain was about to explode, not to mention my...well you know...I was so ready, but I was curious about what he wanted to tell me, so I stopped myself.

-Yes...Kai-chan?-

Kai POV

I thought I was gonna go mad. He was so close, I wanted to enclose my arms around him and hold him tight. And my lips wanted to lock with his. Those soft, tender lips, I started to sweat. I swallowed hard and I don't know why, came even closer.

Normal POV

They were very close and it was too much to bare, they both leaned forward and finally their lips locked together. Neither of them moved, only their lips were moving in a slow rhythm and their hands joined. Their hearts were almost coming out of their chest from all the pounding and when they broke the kiss they looked at eachother, fearing what the other is gonna say.

-I'm sorry!- both of them said in the same voice
-I love you...-said Aoi
-....I love you too...-

They embraced eachother. Finally the truth was out and both of them were releavied
But what now?
What was gonna happen next?


The next day Uruha was waiting in front of his appartament. Reita was gonna be there at any minute and he was so nervous. He was wearing only a pair of jeans and a sweater, but he looked fairly good. Reita was actually hiding behind a tree and he was admiring the beautiful thing that was Uruha. He closed his eyes and he immagened what it would be like is this wonderful creature would be in his arms. Then he snapped out of it and crossed the street.

-Ohayou Uru-chan.-
-Ohayou Reita. You're early.
-I figured we don't have much time, since it gets dark very quickly, so we better make use of every minute we've got, ne?-
-.....yeah....you're right, he, he. So, where are we going?-
-Where do you want to go?-
-I thought you planned this day.-
-I did, but I respect your opinion as well.-

After a few discussions they decided to go and eat something. Uruha was extremely nervous and all the time he was thinking: what is I spill my drink? What if I sneeze and germs fly in my food? All sorts of things were going through his mind
But Reita was no better. Still he tried to look calm, while his entire body was shaking and chills were going down his spine. He wanted him badly.


-Ready to order?- asked Uruha
-Uru-chan....stop with this shit please!-
-What??-
-You wanna tell me something and everytime you change the subject and you leave me wondering.-
-!!!..........I'm sorry. Its not an easy thing to tell...
-Well...you're not alone...-
-...what...what do you wanna tell me?-
-Yeah right! If you tell me I'll tell you, not the other way around, 'cause I know I would have to pull the words out of your...mouth...-

This last word was said with a whisper. Yes, his mouth, that sweet mouth he wanted to kiss. He kept looking at it, but then the waiter arrived and he was forced to look away and order. Uruha was happy about that, 'cause he was starting to wonder why was the blond looking at him so much, which made him feel unconfortable.

They spent the day laughing and talking about unimportant things. At one point they were looking at some plushies in a toy store and Reita couldn't resist and he had to buy one for Uruha. The guitarist blushed when the blond gave him the plushie. He got worried that someone might see them, I mean two guys buying eachother plushies?? What else could it be??
But Reita really didn't care. That was what he wanted to do. Make Uruha happy. His eyes were sparkling of joy when he saw the big smile on the guitarist face.

-What?-
-Nothing. I'm just glad you're happy. I like to see you smile.-
-////////-

Reita POV

He is blushing. Oh my God, he is blushing. Can he be more cuter! I want him so bad. I have the urge to kiss him, but I can't do it in front of all these people. Me buying him a plushie is bad enough. Man, I adore him.

-Reita-chan?-
-Hm?-
-Is everyting all right?-
-Hai, hai. Come on lets go. I'm the mood for some cake.-
-Ne, Ryo-san?-

I stopped. He called me by my real name. It only encreased my desire for him. I turned around to see him look at me with the sweetest eyes, blood rushed to my cheeks and my urge became even greater. If a little child wouldn't have been standing there I swere I would have kissed him, without caring for all the people around us. But I thought such things shouldn't be done in the presence of children

-Yes, Kouyou-san?-
-Ah...why don't we go to my place instead? Its getting dark anyway. We can get some cake on the way.-
-Your place?-

He nodded and I thought I was gonna burst into a blaze (the irony ha?). I said yes, of course, but what was gonna happen there? Will I loose it? Will I push him on the bed and ravish him? 'Cause that is what I wanted to do, my head was hurting of all that thinking.

Uruha POV

I invited him over at my place. I couldn't believe it. What have I done? I was already having trouble controlling myself. When we get there will I just trow myself into his arms? What am I? A whore!? But...that's the only thing I wanted to do in that moment.
Reita...in my appartament...
Sure he's been there before, but I wasn't feeling like this...

When they arrived, Uruha put down the box containing the cake and took off his coat. He looked at the wall, thinking what should he do next?

-I love you.-

Did he hear that? Or was that his imagination?

-What?-
-I said I love you. I know I shouldn't...I...-
-I love you too...Ryo-san...-
-You do??-
-Yes...for a while now...I was afraid to tell you...I...-
-Sssshhh. Its all right. The important is that we know it.-

Uruha looked at him and trew himself in his arms. Reita lifted up his chin and placed a soft kiss upon his tender lips. But the guitarist deepend the kiss and the bassist could feel the tip of his tongue looking for his own, he then broke the kiss.

-But Reita-kun...-
-Not yet, Uru-chan. We have time. Right now I just want to hold you. After all its a big step, we should think of what to do next.-
-Yes...you're right. We have all our lives ahead of us.-

Reita stroke his cheek and placed another soft kiss onto his lips.

Yes, there was time...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your venomous words...

Echoing trough eternity...

Breaking my heart...

Shreding my flesh...

Burning my ears...

Your venomous words...

Those that killed me...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Chapter one is here, comments are love ^^

Hello and Merry Christmas to you all!
Have a wonderful day!! ^___^

oh and btw, the Gazette won in the poll, so tomorrow will start the fic, its gonna be long as promised,he,he

See ya!!

Meri Kuristmasu!! XXDD

Poll #1317544 Christmas fan fiction
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4

Which band would you like to be featured in the fan fiction? (yaoi/slash)